Welcome to the Nocturnal Den.
Welcome to the Nocturnal Den
Welcome to the Nocturnal Den. Where I’m the raccoon you stumble upon at night, wondering where I disappear to during the day.
But first, allow me to introduce myself.
Hi, I’m Van LaCar. A storyteller, not an author. That means I build stories from emotions first, then shape the plot around them. My goal? To make you feel. Think of me as your grandpa by the fire, spinning tales that might not always make sense, but keep you up at night thinking about them anyway.
I love coffee as much as I love daydreaming, but I’m also a bit afraid of people (like a real racoon), or maybe just their words. (Words as a love language, anyone?) So I tend to stay hidden, writing from the shadows. I don’t hard core market my work like an open diary to strangers. I’d rather you find me; like a gem buried in the sand, something unexpectedly beautiful in a world full of noise.
And since I call myself a “trash panda,” it only feels right that this place, this Den, is where other misfits and feelers can gather. I respect authors immensely, but me? I’m not here to be perfect or professional. I’m just here to share stories from the heart. Some might see them as messy or imperfect, but if you find comfort here, then welcome. You’ve found your safe space.
The Beginning: Bound by Fire
If you didn’t know already, Bound by Fire came to me in a dream during those sleepless nights after my daughter was born.
I’d pull up Campfire (amazing writing tool, by the way) and type away in the dark whenever I couldn’t sleep. It took about two years of “a little here, a little there” until one night, I decided, enough. Let’s finish this.
At first, I thought it would be fun to format it like a screenplay. Twelve chapters, lots of dialogue, and something that felt fast and visual. But when I shared it, readers told me, “Van, this reads like a script! You could hire someone to adapt it, but readers will be confused.”
So after publishing it in March 2025, I pulled it down, gave it a glow-up, and released the official version in June 2025. It still has its rough edges, but it’s my firstborn. I’ve touched it too many times, it’s time to move on.
When He Stayed: Finding My Breath
In February 2025, I was already working on When He Stayed. I wanted something specific: a ninja romance.
I found plenty of ancient Asian lore, but nothing that captured the modern, emotional vibe I was craving. So I decided to write it myself. Think modern-day ninja meets heartfelt chaos. (Also, yes, I grew up loving Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You might even find an Easter egg in there from the 1990s version.)
While revising Bound by Fire, I kept flipping between projects: outlining Bound by Secrets, polishing Fire, and drafting When He Stayed. My plate was full.
It was stressful. It was chaotic. It was fun. I guess I thrive in the kind of chaos that helps me sleep better at night.
By June 2025, Bound by Fire had been republished, and I shifted my full focus to When He Stayed and by August, it was ready to meet the world.
The Breakdown
The day When He Stayed launched was beautiful. I celebrated with friends, flowers, food, laughter, even signed a book. But that night, the fear hit me hard.
I felt sick. Overexposed. I’d always known I didn’t like attention, but having so many eyes on something so personal made me panic. It felt like everyone could see straight through me: my thoughts, my heart, my darkness.
I almost pulled everything from Amazon that night. I told readers I’d leave my books up for a week, then move everything to Wattpad, where it felt safer. (Fun fact: I used Wattpad back in 2016. That old story was called Love Mei, and I actually still like it! I would continue it, but I have no idea what I was thinking in 2016.)
That week was brutal. I could barely sleep, my anxiety was through the roof, and I felt exposed. When He Stayed is dark. It deals with grief, pain, and emotional wounds. I worried people would judge me for writing about those things.
And then something happened.
An older man I knew read When He Stayed. He told me that when his wife died, my story helped him find the courage to move forward.
That moment changed everything.
It reminded me why I write. Not for the crowd, not for the critics, but for the hearts that need it most.
So I decided to keep going, and this time, I’d do it quietly.
Current Work: Bound by Secrets & Beyond
Now, back to the books.
After outlining Bound by Secrets in April 2025, I began drafting through June–August, then took a short break in September–October to write two shorter works:
- The Deal Novellete — 10,984 words (a short romantic novelette)
- Bound Series Novella — 22,424 words (will tell you about this soon!)
That’s about 33,000 words in two months, or around 98 words per hour based on my usual 40-hour writing week. (Yes, I actually did the math.)
Now that I’m refreshed, I’ve returned to Bound by Secrets: which currently sits around 96,500 words, or roughly 400 pages. It’s gone through five drafts, including one I completely scrapped and rewrote from scratch. (Story for another time!)
About The Journey
This year has been my first true step into the world; sharing my heart publicly through stories. I’ve met incredible author friends, studied morally gray characters, and embraced the slow-burn trope (because those payoffs are delicious).
My phone is an absolute chaos zone of notes, story ideas, and half-formed thoughts. Honestly, if I ever lost it, I’d cry. But somehow, it all works.
I’m still figuring out how to use this space, but here’s what you can expect:
- Behind-the-scenes updates on my writing journey
- Extremely short stories of ideas that won’t make it into a full book to inspire storytellers like you
- Reflections on what I’m studying or reading
- Recommendations for artists and creators who avoid AI art
- Honest thoughts from one storyteller to another
This might be a dumpster fire of an introduction, but it’s mine. It’s ours.
So welcome to the Den, nocturnal reader.
Grab a cup of coffee (or boba tea), get cozy, and stay a while.
Happy reading.
Van LaCar
Follow my journey through the Bound Series and more on Instagram: @vanlacar
More stories coming soon! Stay tuned for Bound by Secrets (February 2026)
